There's a Zombie in My Pocket
by MuffinPirate
Summary: Zexion, a small, four year old boy, is being watched by a twelve year old Demyx. Ohhhh the things that could happen. 4-shot, not updated very often.
1. Spring

This has just been revised! Fixed a lot of things... Enjoy! Next chapter of WDWHPB? and the new prologue of it will be up very shortly, as will the next chapter of VRPODTDW and the revision of IBTSOE! So be patient!

Love studMuffin

This is not something I'm going to be able to update every now and then. Each chapter will take a very long time to do, so don't worry. IBtSoE, VRPoDtDW, and WdWhPB? will be updated a lot more than this… And plus, there are only going to be 4 chapitres!

.-xx-.

There's a Zombie in my Pocket

A.K.A

The Seasons

.-x Spring x-.

XxX- Day One -XxX

Howdy! I'm Demyx Strife, and I'm 12, tall and beachy! Beachy meaning that my skin is tanned, my eyes sea-green and my hair a sexy sandy-blonde. For the next few days, I'm being forced to watch some kid, while his parents chaperone on a field trip for his older brother. He's only four.

I have three brothers: Roxas and Sora, the younger twins and Tidus the older. Roxas, Sora, and the kid's older brother, Riku, are in the qualifying grades to go. You had to be on the honor roll to go, and I unfortunately didn't make it…  
So anyway, both are going on a field trip, and both his and my parents are also going.

Tidus is staying though, but I highly doubt I'll see him barely at all, for he would surely be at his boyfriend Wakka's house. I might just call all of my friends up to help and hang around.

"He's going to be here any minute, are you ready?" Leon asked me from the kitchen. He was my other dad, my actual dad being Cloud. My mom and dad got a divorce; my mom totally understanding in the fact that dad was gay. Why she left us with him is beyond me.

"Yea, yea, I'm ready." I told him, as he walked out into the living room, dropping one of his bags on the couch. I walked over to the couch as well, plopping down and turning the TV on.

The Soup, my most favorite show in the whole wide world (Tidus and Roxas both say that Joel Mchale is _not _funny, but that's a LIE!), was to come on in ten minutes, and I was determined to watch it today!

Not Saturday, not Sunday, TODAY! _Friday_! It was then that the doorbell rang. Great, he's here. I ran over and opened the door quickly, startling the missus and the kid.

"KYAH! YOU SCARED ME!" She screamed as she whacked me in the head with a huge diaper bag. After I recovered, I looked back up at her expectantly.  
"Oh hey there! I'm Yuffie Kisaragi-Valentine, and this is…Oh Zex, it's ok, come here!" She giggled, looking down and lightly tugging on a small hand that she was holding. Greeaatt…The kid was shy.

He was hiding behind her fancy white kimono (She looked like the kind of chick that will never be caught dead in a dress or skirt, but she's currently very pregnant, like eight or nine months!), and when she got him to come out, he was still halfway behind it, gripping onto the article of clothing.

To say that he was _just_ cute was an incredible understatement. He was the cutest, most adorable, lovable human being on Earth ("And one hundred percent molestable!" I can imagine Axel saying)!!

Well, from what I could see of him anyway.  
If he was this cute hiding behind something, then I could only guess how cute he _really_ was. His hair was interesting. Sometimes it was silver, sometimes slate, or sometimes even blue or purple! Depended on the lighting, I suppose.**  
**It was semi-long, about the same length as his mother's, and seemed to be falling in his face _all the time_. His eyes were also incredibly pretty; a nice shade of indigo.

He was wearing a baby blue t-shirt that had a chocobo on it, running; a small dust cloud behind its back foot. His shorts where beige, and also had a small sewed on chocobo on the corner of a pant leg. They also had clouds under the feet sewn on them. His shoes were those fancy Velcro ones, with; you guessed it, chocobos decorated on them. They flashed, too! Fan-cy! Also, he was holding a plushie chocobo, holding it by one of the legs.

"You must _really, __**really **_hate chocobos," I snorted, Mrs. Kisaragi-Valentine laughing as well. "Well, yes. Really, he does." She said, patting little Zexion on the head, who had tilted his head like a confused puppy. He must not get the concept of sarcasm.

"Oh, let's get rid of that hair in your face…" She said, once I had invited them in. She grabbed a hair clip (baby blue with a little chocobo on it) out of his diaper bag, and clipped it so the hair that kept falling in his face was no longer doing its job.

"He still wears diapers?" I asked, and his reaction was immediate. "No diapers!" He screeched, jumping away from his mom and pulling down his pants, only to reveal red and white underwear with crabs on them.

Seeing that made me laugh so hard I almost peed my pants.

"HA! You have crabs," I laughed, Yuffie laughing with me. "That's why I bought 'em!" She giggled. "But his daddy hates it!" By this time, he had pulled his shorts back up and had ran to hide behind his mother again, a small blush just barely visible on his face.

"Well, I suppose I should explain some things then," His mom told me, still giggling a bit.

"His favorite movie is the Princess Bride! I haven't the faintest idea as of why, it completely clashes with his personality! He has a weird thing chocobos and zombies, and loves to read! He like vampires too, but don't immediately think it's because of that one series, Twilight. Mention it around him and he'll go on about how bad it is. He _loathes_ those books. He usually won't put up a fight when it comes to nap time, either, and he's really obedient! If he bugs you in anyway or he gets sad or if anything happens just put on the Princess Bride and give him a waffle or something. He loves that! He's obviously very quiet and shy…and he doesn't wear his emotions on his sleeve, like his dad. So he won't tell you if he's sad or anything; you're going to have to figure it out yourself…!" She explained.

"Yuffie??" questioned my dad's voice as soon as she had finished. "Cloud!!" Yuffie screamed, and waddled and or ran (?) Over to my dad, giving him a huge bear hug. "I didn't know we were watching _your_ spawn!" He said, trying to make his attempts to catch his breathe through his nose subtle.

"Who's…the father?" He asked suddenly, putting his hands on her stomach without permission. She bopped him playfully, but let him feel the kicking of her daughter. I figured that if I did that, or if Dad did that to some random pregnant woman, we would become infertile. Before Yuffie could answer Dad's question, there was another knock at the door.

I bounded over and quickly opened it, only to find possibly the coolest guy ever standing on my doorstep. He had awesome black hair pulled back into a loose ponytail, and crimson eyes. He was also very tall, to the point where I had to move my head up to see his face.

His clothing was pretty simple: black Dickies, black and white long sleeved baseball tee and red converse. "Vinnie!" Yuffie squealed.

Zexion sheepishly went over to hide behind the fantasmic vampire dude, doing the same thing as he had done with Yuffie: Hide behind a leg and hold onto the clothing.

"You forgot some things…" The man, or 'Vinnie', said. Even his _voice _was fantasmical! I accidentally said that out loud, and Yuffie responded by saying, "I know, right? He's my sexy brooding bit--TER bunny! My sexy brooding bitter bunny!" while faking a laugh. She did a little cheer for being able to not say a bad word in front of Zexion.

"Long time no see, Cloud." The man said again. "You and Yuffie got hitched? Oh damn. How many all together?" Leon said, finally speaking up.

"You say that like it's a bad thing. And two; one on the way," Vincent said, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows, a very small smile on his face. All adults snorted, and I noticed that Zexion was gently and curiously poking the hamster ball that had stopped in front of him, the hamster inside being mine, named Sex (Tidus named him).

Finally, Vincent came over to me and handed me a few DVDs, packets of hot chocolate, a box of chocolate chip waffles and a few thick books. "Just in case," He told me, and I nodded. "We should go, Riku is probably not very happy to wait," He then said to Yuffie, before bending down to talk to Zexion.

"We have to go now, Zexion. We'll be back in a few days, and you're going to stay here, okay?" He told him, kissing Zexion's forehead before standing up. Zexion stood up and immediately clung onto Vincent's leg. Vincent slightly chuckled. "Hey, it's only for a little while; Only a few days." He reassured him.

I felt something poke me in the side, and it turned out to be Mrs. Kisaragi-Valentine jabbing me with the Princess Bride DVD. I was only confused for a few seconds, before I realized what they wanted me to do. Grinning, I quickly grabbed the movie and jumped over to Zex. He jumped and his eyes widened when he saw me land in front of him.

"Hey, why don't we- OH MY GOD I'M MISSING THE SOUP!!!" I screamed, scaring the boy half to death. As I dove over the couch to the remote, he fell on his arse, clutching his chest and his eyes wide. "Demyx!" Leon snapped, whapping me on the back of the head. "What?" I asked scathingly, not happy about missing my show. Cloud walked over and unplugged the TV, causing me to give a strangled scream.

"Pay attention to our guests!!" Both he and Leon hissed. "But my show!" I yelled, only to be glared at. "Ugh…Fine…" I groaned, getting up and walking over to Zexion. "Hey. Let's go watch Princess Bride! Or… The Soup! You like that, right? Well it's on _right now!_" I cheerfully told him. He smiled a small smile and nodded ever so slightly.

"Ok!" I grinned, picking him up and running over to the couch. "PLUG IT IN." I demanded, Cloud rolling his eyes and plugging the TV back in. The screen immediately came back up and Joel Mchale was 'interviewing' Miley Cyrus.

"Go!" Zexion then demanded, pointing towards the door. "GO 'WAY!" Yuffie squealed, and glomped us to shower us with love. "Stop being so cute!!" She yelled, hugging us even tighter. "Hehe… Yea, thanks…" I mumbled, blushing. Zexion, I noticed, was struggling like mad to get from her grip. All the adults began to laugh at the scene, and just began disperse out of the room to chat.

--

"Ok, we're off. Bye Demyx, Zexion," Leon said, saluting us. We were left just watching the Soup, and when it ended, we were just sitting there. "Um, I really don't think you're allowed to watch the girls next door…" I said, turning the TV off.

I turned around only to find him struggling to get into the cushy windowsill seat thing, probably to just watch people outside. He pointed one finger at the window, it touching, and said, "Doggy! Biiiig doggy!" while looking out the window in pure awe.

I skipped over to see it, only to realize that that dog was _incredibly_ familiar; and red. "Hey that's Axel and Reno's dog; Nanaki!" I yelped, immediately throwing the front door open and running outside to get the dog. I reached the red dog and greeted him, petting him and such.

"Come on Zexi! He won't bite you! Or eat you, for that matter!" I told the boy, who was shyly standing in the doorway, clinging onto the doorframe and hiding half behind it as if it were his lifeline. I brought Nanaki to the door and started to pet him, to show Zexion that he wasn't dangerous at all.

When I realized that he wasn't going to try and pet Nanaki anytime soon, I gently grabbed his hand and put it on the dog's fur. Zexi's eyes widened a little bit, but I kept my hand on his and began moving it in a petting motion. After a few moments of this, I let go of his hand and it continued on its own.

"See, he's not gonna hurt you!" I told him, grinning. He gave me a small smile in return, one that made me want to just snuggle him up right then and there!! But Nanaki beat me too it; He began licking Zexion's hands, and then moved to his face. This caused Zexion to genuinely laugh, which caused _me_ to laugh as well.

"H-hey, l-lets go r-return Nanaki to A-Axel and Reno, shall we?" I asked him, through the laughing. "O-ok…" Zexion said, hugging Nanaki.

I picked him up and put him on Nanaki's back, before beginning to lead them down the street. Zexion was really quiet the whole time, the only noises he ever made were when he almost fell off Nanaki, and I had to pull him back up. After that little incident, he leaned forward and hugged Nanaki's neck, in a somehow comfortable position.

--

Eventually, we made it to Axel's; Reno 's boyfriend, Rude, was who answered the door. "Hey Rude! Is Axel or Reno home? Zexion spotted Nanaki outside my house and we came to return him!!" I explained. Rude merely nodded, letting us in and going to get either brother.

"Hey, man. Thanks for bringing him back. Axel would've been all devastated and stuff, you know?" Reno said, as he was the one retrieved. "So whose this, yo? You guys gonna hang for a while before me n' Rude gotta go to work?" He asked.

"Oh, this is Zexion; I'm babysitting him for a few days while his and my parents are going on that stupid field trip to Canada." I explained. "Really? That must suck, man. Who're his parents?"

"Apparently, really close friends of my dads'. Mr. and Mrs. Valentine-Kisaragi, or something like that…"  
"Vin and Yuf? No kidding! Those two, together? And having _spawned??_ That's… amazing. You know when Vin got his first phone, he called Cloud and said that Yuf had no right to call it, and now look at 'em. Married with children. Funny!" Reno began rambling.

"Right, well, anyway, we're staying!" I said, interrupting him.

"Kay, well, you know where everything is… Axel will be home from wherever he is…eventually. You can go play with Red or something, if you want while you wait, yo. Just do whatever." He dismissed us. For some reason, their family sometimes called Nanaki Red XIII.

I grabbed Zexion and skipped off to Axel's room to play the Sims 2. In his room, we found the family cat, Cait Sith, cleaning himself on his bed, which was kinda gross. "Hey, Cait!" I greeted, petting the cat that they had found on a family trip in Leicester.

I put Zexion on the bed as well, and he seemed to become with friends with the cat instantly. He must be a cat person, as he immediately went to hug the cat. He pet it and was incredibly gentle with him, and the cat was in its own little world of happiness.

So, with Zexi occupied with Cait, I wandered over to the computer to play the Sims 2. I loved how Axel had all the expansion packs, even though he didn't actually buy any of them. When it loaded, I put in the main cheat and went to town in Axel and mine's shared neighborhood.

I noticed a new house, and I hovered over it to see what crazy family Axel had created without me this time. The family's name was… AkuRoku, that's a weird name. Looking at the Sims in the family, it consisted of only four people; one adult, two teens and one toddler. The scary thing was that the teens looked a _lot_ like Axel himself, and my brother, Roxas.

I entered the house, and soon found out that the toddler was _somehow_ Axel and Roxas' kid. The adult was just there for no reason, I guess. _That_ made me begin to realize things… and of course, it was at that moment that Axel got home. "Hey man, what's up?" He asked me, dropping a bag onto his floor.

"NOTHING! NOTHING!" I yelled, jumping up and covering the screen with my back. "What're you hiding?" He asked, raising one of his shortened eyebrows. He shoved me out of the way, and looked at the screen. What he saw made him turn as red as his hair, and he immediately shut the computer down.

"I-I can explain!!" He yelled, hastily helping me up from the ground. "U-uh, yea, please do…" I mumbled, giving him a disturbed look. "…Ok, um…I created a family of me and Roxas on the Sims because…Hey, who's that?" He suddenly changed the topic. I didn't appreciate that, but I let it slide. I turned around and looked to where he was pointing.

Zexion was curled up in a little ball, hugging Cait Sith to him, both of which were asleep. "Oh, that's Zexion. He's the kid I'm watching. You know, Riku's younger brother, who is Sora's best friend, who will not hesitate to pummel you on my word for thinking rather awkward thoughts about his best friend's twin…" I narrowed my eyes. "Same thing goes for his parents, too. His dad is an ex-Turk. His mom is a ninja from Wutai." I added, purposely skipping the unnecessary information about her being pregnant.

Axel gulped and looked about to die. "O-oh. Yea, h-him." He choked out. "Explain. Now." I glared at him. "Ok, ok…I…I really like Roxas, ok?"

To say I was _just_ shocked was a HUGE understatement.

"WHAT?! I mean, I don't care if you're _gay_, hell, _I'm_ gay! But, _you_ liking _my little brother_ is just a bit creepy!!" I screamed. "At least I'm not a pedo!" He yelled back at me. "What?! I'm _babysitting _him, smart one!" Picking the sleeping Zexion up, I held him close to me.

"Well, whatever, we're leaving now!" I stomped out of his room, and caught Reno and Rude right before they were to leave for work. "Can you take us home? We need to go…" I asked, and they happily obliged. They dropped us off, and I took us back inside where I lay Zexion on the couch and went to the bathroom.

When I came back, Zexion was on his stomach on the floor, his legs in the air moving around, and reading a book. A rather thick book, at that. "You can read?" I asked him. He looked up and nodded.

"Well, whatchya reading?" He held up the book and I read the title. "The Count of Monte Crisco… by Alexandree Dumbass. Haha, 'Dumbass'!" I laughed, and he frowned. "Coun' of Monny Criss-oh, Ale-hander doo-mah!" He snapped, pouting and hiding his face back behind the book.

"O-oh, sorry," I chuckled nervously. "I-I'll just got make some hot chocolate then…and put on a movie." I left for the kitchen. I was just putting the marshmallows into the hot cocoa when Zexion waddled in; He seemed to be doing the potty dance, which in turn made me laugh hysterically.

"No' funny!" He snapped, kicking my shin.

"Ow!! Ok, ok, here, the bathroom is this way…" I led him to the bathroom.

"If you can read a book like the one you were, you sure a heck should be able to go to the bathroom without me!" I told him, and he nodded before closing the door in my face. In the meantime, I decided to _finally_ get around to setting up our little campsite; I was planning on us camping out in my backyard with a portable DVD player! :D

So after _really_ struggling with putting the tent up, I managed to do so without losing any limbs. I set up the mini DVD, got out sleeping bags and made lots of popcorn and did all that other necessary stuffs. After doing all of that, I galloped back into the house to look for Zexion.

"HEY ZEX, WHERE ARE YOU?!" I yelled, hoping he would come out like a good little lap dog.

But, he didn't. So now I must go hunting for him…_Goody!_ I searched the whole house, looking in every nook and cranny for him! I started to panic when I checked my room for the third time. I walked back to the living room and collapsed onto our sofa.

"ZEX! WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE MAN?" I screamed, my voice cracking a small bit. Darn puberty… "Hm?" Came a voice that I was vaguely familiar with. I looked up, and found Zexion in the huge recliner. I could barely see his face over the arm of the chair, it was so squishy.

"H-How long have you been sitting there?!" I snapped, jumping up. He looked up at the ceiling in thought. "Sin affer ress-oom…" He shrugged, and I facepalmed.

"Well, let's go get ready for bed. We're camping outside and gonna watch movies all night!" I grinned, and he looked slightly scared. "Here, you can get dressed in your pajamas in the bathroom, ok?" I told him, grabbing his chocobo covered footsy and leading him back to the bathroom.

_My_ pajamas were blue! And all fishy like, too! I was putting my top on when there was a soft pounding on the lower half of the other side of my door. I pulled my arms through the sleeves and went to open the door, only to find Zexion himself, in nothing but his crab-tacular undies. "Uh…Why aren't you in your 'jamas?" I asked.

He looked up at me, before looking at his feet, a small pink tint appearing on his face. He then attempted to get into his pajamas, which made me realize why he was here; He couldn't get in them by himself… He kept falling over and such. "H-here, you need help?" I asked him. He looked up at me and slowly nodded, looking about to cry from humiliation. "Hey! Don't cry now, I always had trouble getting these things on too!" I told him, truthfully. "R-really?" He asked softly.

"Yea, watch." I took the pajamas and 'attempted' to get one leg in them, but 'fell' onto the ground several times. Zexion cruelly laughed a lot at my antics. "Yer too big!" He demanded, (Evilly) grinning as he laughed. "Nuh-uh! I'm just proving how hard it is to get into these things!" I told him, grinning as well.

"Here, how about I wear a pair of these too so we both can look stupid trying to get them on?" He giggled again before nodding. "Yea! You look eben moar stooped!" He laughed. "Hey! I am not stupid! I'm just not a genius!" I snapped as I went to get a pair of footsy pajamas from my closet. I got mine on, after much 'struggling'.

"Here, now let's get yours on!" I said, and proceeded to help Zexion dress. "Jesus Dem, what the hell are you doing?!" Asked an awesomely familiar voice.

I looked up and grinned, running over to glomp the owner of the voice. "Hey uncle Xiggy!" I hugged him as tight as I could. "Yea, hey. What the hell are you doing? Molesting a 2 year old?" "Four!" Zexion corrected, crossing his arms. He was currently shying away and hiding on the other side of my bed.

"No, Xiggy, I was helping him get into his 'jamas. He needed help because everyone knows what a pain in the bunghole it is to get into footsies. So I got into mine too so we both look like losers. What are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Oh, Leon doesn't trust you being home alone with a toddler so he sent me over to help watch! How wangtabulous is that?"  
"Oh cool! We're camping out and watching movies all night outback!" I explained, before glancing back at Zexion, who was examining Uncle Xigbar.

"This is Zexion! He's four, very shy and loves chocobos, zombies, the Soup, vampires and the Princess Bride! He's real smart too, and gets along with kitties!" I explained. Trying to summarize Zexion up as best as I could. "Oh really…" Xigbar smirked and walked over to Zexi, bent down and held out a hand.

"Hey bud, I'm Xigbar, the family's resident pirate. I'm gonna be watchin you too!" Zexion didn't answer, he only stared. "Hey look I got a pair of footsies that will fit even you, Xiggy!" I grinned, bounding over and handing them to him. He looked less than thrilled, but he went to change into them anyway.

"We'll be out back!!" I told him as I picked Zex up and went outside to our campsite. I noticed my little friend brighten up when he saw that I had put all his things in there: chocobo plushie, chocobo blanket, zombie pillow, and a whole bunch of other random blankets.

He immediately snuggled up comfortably in all of his personal heaven, and I lay down beside him in my own slice of heaven. I had all sorts of watery, fishy stuff!

I put the bowl of popcorn between both of us and started the movie. It was kind of hard to hear because of the thunder and rain that was going on outside though. A few moments later, a very wet uncle Xig finally joined us. "Hi Xig!" I greeted, waving. "'allo Unca Stig," Zexion greeted, waving as well.

"Hey little dudes," He smirked and plopped down on Zex's other side. We all watched about two or three movies before falling asleep (Princess Bride, Labyrinth, and the Italian Job). I unfortunately fell asleep first, then followed by Zexion I think, and Xigbar falling asleep last.

Around two in the morning, I woke up to Xigbar whispering something to Zexion. "Hey, it's ok. I'm only takin a leak. I'll be right back." And he left the tent.

After a few moments of silence, there was a loud SNAP from somewhere outside the tent, which ultimately caused Zexion to whimper and curl up in a ball of fear. Aw, poor kiddo is afraid of thunder and lightning? And the dark? Well that's not a huge surprise. Like, all little kids are afraid of thunder and lightning! And the dark.

"Hey buddy, it's ok. I'm here…" I mumbled to him, still half asleep. I scooched closer to him and hugged him close, and I could feel him relax a bit… Until a _**HUGE**_ clap of thunder sounded off, causing Zexion to jump and actually start _crying_. I paid almost no mind to it until he started cutting of my circulation while gripping onto my arm.

"Ouch! Ok um… Let's fight off the storm!" I stupidly said, sitting up. He tilted his head to the side like a puppy again. I took the popcorn bowls and put one on my head like a helmet, some popcorn getting stuck in my hair while the rest fell to the ground.

Zexion giggled at that, and laughed even harder when I did the same with the other popcorn bowl, only on his head. I also grabbed the water gun I had hidden in here, just in case. I handed it to him, and he looked at it, examining it every which way, accidentally spraying himself in the eye. "Umm I'll be right back, I'm gonna go get my ammunition!!" I told him, getting up and beginning to run out of the tent.

Zexion immediately began to panic. "No! Don' leaf!" He yelled, diving for my legs. "Hey! Don't worry I'll be _right back_!" I told him. "If anything comes your way… Just scream… Um… 'PAPERCLIP MOOCOW COLUMN42!'" I told him, before dashing back into the house to get water guns.

While in my room I swore I heard ''A'ERCLI' MOOCO' COLIMFORETOO!!!' from outside and a 'WHAT THE HELL, KID!' coming from Xigbar, causing me to laugh insanely. I ran back out with my water gun and immediately began spraying Xigbar's head. "HEY!" He yelled, dropping a struggling Zexion. He began chasing me around with Zexion's water gun, and we had a water fight in the rain, Zexion laughing the whole time.

After we ran out of water, we all gathered back into the tent to shiver under our blankets. Seeing as it was too cold in there, we all just ran inside, Xigbar carrying an asleep Zexion who was bundled up in all his blankies.

We ended up all sleeping in my living room, all three of us excruciatingly sick with dreadful colds.

-X-x-X Day Two X-x-X-

The next morning, it was still raining out. Sneezing and feeling ultra crappy, it got a thermometer and took my own temperature. 100.5 Degrees F. lovely. I sighed and felt both Xig's and Zex's foreheads, that were also very warm. Groaning, I walked over to the phone to call and inform Mr. and Mrs. Valentine that I had accidentally gotten their child sick. But before I could do so, they themselves called.

"Hello?"  
_"Demyx?"_ It was Mr. Vincent.  
"Yea?"  
_"What's wrong, are you sick??"_  
"Ugh, yes."  
_"Oh, well, could you possibly watch Zexion for a few more days? Um, Yuffie's water broke last night and we're in a hospital now…"_  
"Oh jeez! Gah, yea, I can watch him. It'll be fun!" I said.  
_"Thanks… We'll come get him once Yuffie's out of the hospital…"_  
"Mkay, bye…" I said, and we both hung up.

I walked back to the living room, collapsing back on the couch. I had barely fallen back asleep when the door opened, loudly. "Ugh…What is it and who do you want?" I moaned, not thinking about what I just said. "It's an Uncle Xaldin and he wants Demyx." My other uncle said in return.

"Oh… Hey Xal, whasup?" My speech was quite slurred. "What's wrong with you?"  
"All three of us got sick…"  
"…How?"  
"We were having water gun fights in the rain last night," I sniffled a bit.  
A sigh came from Xaldin.  
"Where's the child?"  
"Over here, asleep like Stiggy…"  
"Well then _shut up_ and _go to sleep_ and _get better!_"

--

We got better the next day!

--

-X-x-X Day Three X-x-X-

"Hey, let's go to the zoo. Heard the kid's pretty fond of chocobos…" "Wut? Chobos? Whar?!" Zexion became incredibly alert, looking around like a Timone, or a mere cat. I laughed and nodded.

"OK, everyone git in the damned truck and let's go!" Xaldin snapped, picking up both Xigbar and Zexion and putting them over his shoulder. We all got buckled up in his new, huge, dark blue big ol' pick up truck and drove to the zoo in silence.

"Where we goin??" Zexion asked, watching all the scenery go by with his face planted to the glass windows. "Dizzylan'?" He asked seeing a billboard of said theme park. "No… I wish though, but we're too far away." I told him, ruffling his hair a bit.

Finally we made it to the zoo. I looked over to Zexion, whose eyes were wide, and he looked about to have a heart attack.

"CHOBOS, CHOBOS!" He screamed happily, bouncing around in his seat (an: You know those dark helium ball things in KH one? How they flip out and fly around insanely? Yea, like that), causing everyone else to laugh or chuckle in Xaldin's case.

"Don't worry, bud. We're gonna go ride on those, don't worry." Xigbar reassured him, which made Zexion even more excited.

"Ride?! CHOBOS, CHOBOS!!" "Yes, we're gonna go ride the chocobos," Xaldin said, smiling at him. We got out and paid for our tickets. We almost lost Zexion, who immediately ran off to look for his chocobos.

--

First, we had to look by the alligators because Xigbar demanded so. "Hey, Alligator face! Remember _me?!_ MWUAHAHA, I'M BA-ACK!!!" He was screaming at them. We had to pull him away before he actually jumped into the water with them. Next were the birds and flamingoes. For some reason, even though Chocobos _are_ birds, they weren't there. Grrrface.

"WOO malingagloes!" I cheered, having an affinity for flamingoes. Apparently, so did Zexy.  
"Mingoes, mingoes!" He giggled, climbing into their pen.  
"JESUS!" Xaldin yelled diving in as well to get him back.  
"These are not for riding!" He scolded. We got followed by turkeys at one point, and Zexion got to feed a few stray squirrels with some left over Cheez-Its.

After Xaldin shoved him in the baby carrier that was on his chest, he got to peacefully and happily examine the exotic birds. And then _finally_ we got to go to the aquariums!

Zex and I got to watch a _lot_ of fishies all swimming around and around! It was _great_…

And then, after much complaining on Zexion's part, we went and searched for the Chocobos.  
Apparently that's what it started out as, was us searching for them, but I guess we got off track. When we found them, we were lucky enough to find that almost no one was there because of the big whale show thing.

We paid for the mini ride, and Zexion immediately ran in and chose a certain chocobo to ride on. It was black with light purple eyes and was named Karma. Zexion immediately attached himself to it, and he snuggled with it for a while. He even knew how to pet it and such, and Karma looked about as clappy as a ham can get!

The caretaker person finally came in and helped Zexion up, and soon he was squealing with delight as he was trotting around on his chocobo. I made sure to take lots of pictures too, for his parents. After a little while, the rest of us joined him and hopped on a chocobo of our own.

But when we had to leave, it was absolute hell trying to get him to go home.  
It wasn't until he finally fell asleep on Karma. He didn't notice that he did until he actually fell off her and fell on the ground! He woke up, but he was still tired so he didn't fight to go home this time.

As we were walking out, Zexion was enjoying looking at all the Zoo lights. He even somehow manipulated us into buying him a lot of chocobo merchandise for him, too. That clever little schemer! He got a mask to match the hat I gave him this morning, plushies and a of couple foam figures.

Finally, about two hours later we left for home. "So, little Zex nut, how did you like today?" Xigbar asked about halfway home. "CHOBOS, CHOBOS!" Was his only answer, and Zexion began babbling nonsense about random stuff he knew about the birds.

"Well, once we get home, you're goin to bed. You've been up all day without a nap and I can tell you're tired; don't even _try_ to lie, bud." Xaldin said in a very serious tone. "Wh-NO! Nononononooooo!" Zexion whined, starting to have a tantrum; yea, you could definitely tell he was tired, especially when he began to argue and rub his eyes at the same time.

When we got back home, Xaldin picked Zexion up and shoved him on the couch under a few blankets. "Go to sleep!" He yelled, scaring poor Zexion.

"Wait! Yuffie said if he was like this just to put on his favorite movie and get him something chocolaty!" I told him, and immediately began to shove Princess Bride into the DVD player. I then ran into the kitchen and began preparing hot chocolate.

When I made sure it was cool enough I ran back in and gave it to Zex, who immediately grabbed it and began chugging it down. When he was done, I helped him into his pajamas again, and tucked him in under his chocobo blanket.

After Wayne's World ended, Xigbar put in Cloverfield, made popcorn and snuggled up with Xaldin on the floor. By halfway through the movie, Xaldin was asleep. Zexion followed about ten minutes after. I came next, after cuddling up close to Zexion on the couch. I don't know when Xigbar fell asleep obviously, but he did eventually.

X-x-X Morning X-x-X

X-x-X Day the fourth X-x-X

I woke up sometime around eleven, I think. The first thing that went through my mind was, 'Why did I have a dream about finding a missing assignment in math?' The second thing was 'Oh! I should make breakfast for me and Zexy!'

But when I sat up and looked around for him, I found him gone. Not there. Poofed away. Up and disappeared like a fart in the wind. Even all his stuff was gone; the blankets and movies and hot chocolate packets… I sighed sadly, before noticing a note by my pillow.

Grabbing it, I read:

'_Demyx,_

_We appreciate you, Xaldin and Xigbar babysitting Zexion for us. We could tell just by the way he was sleeping that he enjoyed it here immensely. We will make sure to have you baby-sit him again next time we go somewhere with Riku. Yuffie's still in the hospital but I decided to take him off your hands by having his older brother watch him now. Thank you,_

_-Vincent'_

I grinned and ran to plaster the note on my wall somewhere in my room. I can't wait to baby-sit Zexion again, it was too much fun!! But now I am forced to clean up this mess that I made with the blankets and stuff, sigh. And all because Uncle Xig and Xal left early just so I would have to do this by myself!

Oh wait! Dad and…Dad are supposed to be home today too! I rushed into the kitchen, only to find my fathers and my siblings at the table eating brunch. "HI GUYS!" I yelled, tackle-glomping Sora and Roxas to the ground.

"I missed you, how was the trip?" I asked them all. "It was really fun, I wish you could've-"That's nice. I had a _**BALL**_ with Zexion; he's the coolest person in the WORLD!" I squealed, interrupting Leon.

He didn't look to happy about me interrupting him, but after a few seconds of a cold, hard, stare down, he smiled. "Well, I'm glad you two had a good time. Vincent says that he'll be sure to bring Zexion over to visit some ti-"

"I'm just glad the house hasn't exploded." Leon said, interrupting Cloud this time. "Hey! And you get mad at _me_ for interrupting!" I snapped, trying to give him a scary look. It failed though, epically.

"That's because you interrupted _me_," He deadpanned, taking a bite of his waffle. Oh well, I just can't wait to see Zexy again. Next time, we're gonna go to the park and the movies and the-

"Demyx stop spacing out and thinking to yourself," Cloud said, poking me with a spork.

Ok… Till next time then!

--


	2. Summer

Dedicated to Z E X I O N H E A R T ( Sorry this took so long D: )

**BGM**: Stuff on STWPT(Stuff to wear pants to)

.-xx-.

There's a Zombie in my Pocket

A.K.A

The Seasons

.-x Summer x-.

"DUCKIESSSS! QUACK QUACK QUACK! DUCKY DUCKY! QUACK QUACK!"

Those poor ducks. Probably scared out of their minds right now, being chased by a small purple haired beast, which had purple eyes. Following the screaming of 'duckies and quack' came insane giggling.

Demyx, who was sitting nearby, was trying to fend himself off from the pigeons that kept landing on him, while Zexion ran around chasing the ducks and chucking whole slices of rock hard bread at them. He had tripped a couple of times, but he just giggled and got back up, returning to chasing the birds.

"These birds are _psychotic!"_ Demyx said, flapping his arms at the pigeons. "That _kid_ is psychotic!" Axel, Demyx's best friend for like, life, said, watching as Zexion roared at a nearby duck and dived at it.

Demyx looked over and grinned when he saw Zexion, now sitting on the ground and having long forgotten the ducks look absolutely confused and curious as a butterfly landed on his small nose. He wriggled it a bit and sneezed, falling on his back onto the grass as the small insect flew away.

The small Zexion was not only accompanied by Demyx and Axel today, by the way. Practically everyone was there; Vincent, Yuffie, Riku, Roxas, Reno and Rude, Tidus, Wakka, Cloud and Leon, Xigbar, Xaldin, Nanaki and Fuu, the newest addition to Zexion's family.

Vincent and Yuffie were sitting over under a huge tree and on a cloth, for they were having a picnic. Vincent was trying to teach Fuu to walk. Tidus and Wakka were off somewhere, probably making out or whatever. Axel and Demyx were obviously watching little Zexion romp around. Xigbar and Xaldin were snuggling together on the beach portion of the park, under an umbrella of epicness. Reno was surfing while Rude was sitting on a beach chair reading. Cloud and Leon were sharing ice cream on a nearby bench.

It was then that Zexion tumbled up to Demyx, demanding they go swimming. "Ahh! Demy, Demy! We has to go swim!" He screamed, clenching his eyes shut and fist-pumping the air. Axel looked at him as if he was insane. He kept bouncing around and pointing at the ocean. Can you guess what his little swim trunks looked like? No seriously I actually want you to guess. I might 'accidentally' and nonchalantly describe them later in a subtle manner, but that's all you'll get. If you get really close I'll give you a present.

"Can you even swim?" Demyx asked him, causing Zexion to practically head bang. "Axe, you wanna come?" He asked said friend. "Are you kidding me? I will tear your balls off if you send me into the water," Axel growled.

Demyx grinned and said ok before standing up and carrying Zexion over to the water. Zexion immediately charged into the freezing water, but regretted doing so instantly.

Demyx came in after him, and he and Zexion played merrily for a little while, Reno even coming over once or twice on his board. Then he did something incredibly stupid: He lifted Zexion on his board, and started surfing with him. This was probably the most moronic thing one could do when there was a relaxing Vincent Valentine nearby. Demyx sort of realized this, and looked in his direction. Sure enough, Vincent was watching Reno intently, and was sitting up, for he had been lying down previously tanning (because Yuffie demanded that he do so).

"Reno… I don't think Mr. Valentine is very happy with you--" Demyx was cut off when the unthinkable happened. Reno crashed, causing him and Zexion to go underwater. Demyx was just beginning to look around for them when Vincent had already reached them, and was searching vigorously for his four year old. Yuffie had even rushed into the water, as did most everybody.

Because simply, most everyone knew that Zexion couldn't swim. I mean, he was four! Nobody, of course, was looking for Reno, because this was his fault. Also, he had already come back up, and was looking for Zexion as well.

"Got him!" Someone said, Xigbar. He was holding the boy, who was shivering and coughing up water. Vincent rushed over and grabbed him before he and Yuffie rushed back to shore. Slowly, everyone also made their way back to the shore to relax again, giving the Valentine family their space.

--

Demyx and Xigbar walked over to Vincent, Yuffie, Zexion and Fuu in silence, still a bit in shock. "Um, Mr. and Mrs. Valentine, I'm sorry for what happened. If I hadn't of let Reno—" It's ok! As long as he's ok!" Yuffie said, grinning at him. "Oh, I'm so glad you're not mad at me! I thought you would've been, and then you'd never have me babysit Zexy ever again, and then I'd never see him again!" He explained, dreading those very thoughts. He glanced over to Zexion, who was calmly napping, although still soaking wet.

"Xigbar, thank you for saving him. You two seem close, for he talks of you positively," Vincent said, giving him a smile.

"Hell, I helped get him sick! Of course we're close!" Xigbar said, grinning.

Vincent's smile faltered, and he then turned to Demyx. "Never could we do such a thing to the one who has tamed Zexion," He calmly said. "Tamed him?" Demyx asked. "Yes. Every sitter we have taken him to he has managed to piss off and make them quit. Apparently, he's a-always b-being the ultim-mate w-wild child," Vincent explained, starting to stutter halfway through. Demyx, confused, looked closer to see what was causing Vincent to go so red in the face.

Well, it was Yuffie. She was sitting on his lap and was slowly licking up his chest. 'Ewwww, gross,' Demyx thought, also going red in the face before looking away.

"Y-yuffie!" He exclaimed, his voice cracking. "I can't help it Vinnnnn, you're just so _sexy_, all lying here, tanning, shirtless, and _wet_. I can't help ittttt," Yuffie whined, nuzzling her face in his neck. Vincent was as red as ever.

"Vincent, I would've thought that _you_ of all people were sophisticated enough not to get your girlfriend pregnant in front of other children," Came a random voice. It belonged to Leon, who was walking over with Cloud.

"Aww, Leon, you ruin _all_ the fun," Yuffie whined, as she purred into a red-faced Vincent's neck. "Hey, we just came over to see how the little one was doing," Leon said, raising his arms in the air as if to surrender.

"He's fine, now can you all like, go away? Vinnie and I have to get re-married so we can go on another honeymoon!" Yuffie demanded, turning back to Vincent and asking him to marry her. "What? Why?" Vincent asked. "Are you unhappy with out marriage right now??" He asked, his voice taking on a depressed tone. "No, we just need to have a baby that has black hair and red eyes! I'm tired of people thinking that I'm married to _Sephiroth_. Grossness," Yuffie explained, her face taking on a disgusted expression.

Suddenly a small hand appeared, and waved vigorously in between the small space that was between Vincent and Yuffie's face. Both looked down just in time to have Zexion climb in between them and sit on his dad's lap, his legs on either side of Yuffie. He looked up to his dad, who looked down at him and smiled. "Daddy?" Zexion asked. "Yes?" Vincent replied. Both seemed to be in their own little world, everyone else having disappeared from it. "If yer gonna go make more babies, can I go stay with Demy?" At this question, Vincent blanched, then blushed. "We're not going to have any more babies for a while, little one. I don't think I even want to know how you know about these things, either," He said, closing his eyes and silently chuckling.

"Hey, why don't you ever ask _me_ questions? You always ask your dad! I'm just as cool as him!" Yuffie complained, poking her small child in the forehead.

Zexion looked at her, and made a face. "Cuz yer weeiiirdd. You always has to go inta crasee detail bout _everytin_, when all I need is a yes," He whined, leaning back up against Vincent's chest. "Hum!" Zexion then demanded.

"What, why? Stop acting like your mother, one of her is enough," Vincent said, but Zexion wasn't listening. He had closed his eyes, and looked super relaxed. At everyone's staring Yuffie laughed. "It's his voice. When you lie against his chest and he does something with his voice, it feels _so_ good…" She said, leaning her own head on it. Curious, Demyx came over and did the same, as did Cloud and Leon.

"What the hell is this?" Vincent asked, causing everyone to go 'ahhhhh…' in relaxation.

"What the _hell?_" Entered a rather confused voice. "What the fuck is this, yo?" Reno. Of course. It just had to be Reno. "C'mere, put your face on his chest," Cloud said. "Uhhh… how about _no_…" Reno replied, his expression still weird. "Yea, I'll pass, thanks," And with that he walked off, surfboard under his arm.

--

"Axel, _please_, c'mon man, I need this!"

"No way man, there's no way in _hell_,"

"Please! You're my best friend, you're supposed to say yes!"

"No! I am not watching that psycho freak!"

"He's not psycho! Look, I'll even forgive you for having wet dreams about my brother if you do,"

"Hey! I do not—"

"Yes you do!" This was a foreign voice this time, and it belonged to Reno who was out in the living room.

Demyx looked at Axel. "Dude you need a better door," He snorted.

Axel sighed, then chuckled. "Yea, I seriously do, don't I,"

"Ok, so I'll drop him off tonight at six, thanks!"

"But I don't— Damnit!"

--

"Demyx, I'm glad you got someone else to watch Zexion, but did it have to be _Axel_? Or maybe we could just send him back home?" Leon asked, his hand gripping the bridge of his nose.

"But he's my _best friend_, I can trust him with anything!" Demyx argued, holding a Zexion who was occupied with Sex the hamster.

"I know _you_ could trust him with anything, but no one else can!"

"Leon, it will be alright. Reno and Rude will be there too, and we'll only be gone for a day," Cloud told him, having walked in with a messy apron on, indicating that he had been making cookies.

The Zexion brain sensors seemed to go off when he sensed Cloud's presence, for he looked Demyx in the eye for a few moments, as if the two were having a silent conversation.

After those few moments, Demyx looked back to his dad. "He wants cookies," He said, shrugging. Cloud smiled and walked into the kitchen to get him some. "I think it's time we dropped him off at _Axel's_. Did you even call Vincent and Yuffie and ask them if you could drop Zexion off at Axel's?" Leon suggested, then asked. Demyx sighed, then put Zexion down and walked to the phone before calling the Valentine's.

"_Hello?" _Vincent asked as he answered the phone.

"Hi! It's me, Demyx,"

"_Hello, Demyx. What do you need, what has happened and or why are you calling?"_

"… I wanted to ask a question, because Leon told me too,"

"_Well?"_

"Can I have Axel watch Zexy for a couple days while we—"

"_No."_

"…Why?"

"_Why not?"_

"Because he's my best friend?"

"_No."_

"But Cloud said ok!"

Vincent sighed, and Demyx could hear Yuffie in the background saying 'aw let 'im go!'

"_I suppo—"_

"Plus Reno will be there too!"

"_No."_

"…So will Rude,"

"..._I'll think about it,"_

"Kay thanks!!"

There was the sound of a small struggle on the other end.

"_Hey there, Demy!" _Yuffie said, having obviously won the battle.

"_Go ahead and take the kid, I'm sure he'll be fine! He needs some nerve anyway, that shy little loser!"_

"_You just called your own son a loser," _Vincent could be heard saying in the background.

"_Well that's because he is!"_ Argued Yuffie. "_He's too shy!"_

Demyx, seriously weirded out by now, said, "Well... I gotta go now, by guys!" and with that he hung up.

"They said yes!" He cheered when he turned back to Leon. "You're kidding," He groaned. "Nope!" Demyx laughed, as he hopped over to Zexion, who was sitting in the living room watching the television.

He was watching the show _Cold Case Files_, and it was currently displaying the gruesome imaged of someone's remains.

"Oh my god, Zexion! You can't watch this!" He yelled, reaching for the remote to change it. "N-no! I like it. Iss my favrit show…" Zexion protested, still eating his cookies out of the little bag Cloud had given him. "You've got to be kidding me!" Demyx said looking at him with an alarmed expression.

Zexion just smiled innocently smiled and shook his head.

Demyx merely raised his eyebrows in shock. "Well… C'mon, we have to go drop you off at Axel's, anyway,"

Zexion's head snapped up to face him in alarm. "Wha'?? Why!" He asked.

"Because we have to go to my Gramma's, and she hates little tiny kids like you," Demyx told him. "Bud I don' like Azzel," Zexion whined, "Bein' 'round him makes me wanna kick 'im!" He explained.

"What?? Why!?" Demyx asked, horrified. But before Zexion could answer, he was interrupted.

"Kay, get in the car, let's go drop the kid off in hell," Leon said, walking out of the kitchen (his hair looked slightly disheveled, his shirt was un-tucked and he looked flushed and out of breath) and out the door.

Demyx just stared after him, too shocked and disgusted because he knew why his dad looked that way. "Hey!" He said after coming back down to Earth. "He isn't going to _hell!_" He picked up Zexion and carried him outside, Zexion waving bye-bye to the plastic chocobos (like Pink Flamingoes) that stuck out everywhere in the front yard.

"Oh god it's so hottttt," Demyx whined, already sweating.

"Well, that's what we call Summer," Cloud said, as he got into the truck.

When they reached the destination, Demyx and Zexion climbed out. Leon grabbed Zexion's arm before he could toddle of and pulled him back to face him. "Don't do anything stupid. Don't get _shot_, don't get _bitten_, and don't get _**burned**__,_" He told him, Zexion merely staring at him.

"Kay." He said, before grabbing his (chocobo) backpack and pulling it open, revealing a whole bunch of books. "I brod books," He said, zipping it back up and struggling to get the heavy thing back onto his back. Demyx and he then walked to the front door, and when Axel answered, you could tell he was really not happy.

Demyx said goodbye to him, and as he walked out of the house you could hear Leon scream, "DON'T KILL HIM!!"

And with that, they were gone.

--

**--Random Extra Insert--**

_.x- Nine years later –x._

"Father?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you bring me to the library, saying that it was 'urgernt'?"

"Because your mother made me," Vincent said, clearing his throat. Zexion merely stared at him and said, "Oh."

After parking, both males got out of the truck and silently walked into the huge biblical building, Vincent steering them to the nonfiction section. Seeing the certain section they were in of the nonfiction, Zexion's eyes widened a little, and he looked around warily as his dad grabbed a few books off the shelves as they passed them.

They settled themselves at a nice table in the corner, and Vincent cleared his throat, looking sort of humiliated. "Son," He said, picking up the book and holding it on the table so it faced Zexion. Zexion looked at it, and his face immediately morphed into one of shock and disgust. There was a picture of a wang as the front cover. "There comes a point in one's life when—" Vincent stopped himself, clearing his throat again and putting on hand on the back of his neck.

"ok look. W-when… No, say there's the pasta noodle, and the sauce. W-well, you uh, put them together, and they make a— No, no... When a man becomes a certain age--"

"Father," Zexion said, his face now emotionless.

Vincent, who had been blushing and sweating like a dork and looking off in other directions the whole time (don't forget the great arm gestures!), looked at him. "Uh, yes?" He asked. Zexion examined his disheveled father before answering. "I already know about this stuff. You need not inform me about it," He said, face still blank.

Vincent looked at him, bewildered. "Oh thank _god_," He finally said, sighing heavily while slightly grinning.

"Yea," Zexion said, blinking slowly.

"…let's just go home," Vincent said, obviously relieved.

"Yes... Why are you acting like this? Didn't you have to go through the same thing with Riku?" Zexion asked as he put the books back in their correct place.

Vincent just sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I really didn't think he needed 'the talk' after you walked in on him having sex with that little Sora kid," He told him. "You came to us in the middle of the night saying that Riku and his friend wouldn't stop wrestling, while your mother and I were having intercourse. So I was able to persuade Yuffie out of it. You always seemed to have a knack of walking in on people having sex. It happened four times when you were little,"

Zexion visibly spasmed. "What?? When was this?" He asked, somewhat horrified of Riku having sex with _Sora_ of all people, and then walking in on his _parents_ doing the same thing.

"When you were six," Vincent told him, as they both climbed into the truck, getting ready to go. "You nearly gave us a heart attack when we turned around and saw you just _standing_ there and _staring_ at us, just calmly explaining that your brother was sucking a lollipop in Sora's pants," He explained, smiling ever so slightly.

Zexion blanched and hid his face in his hands. "Thanks for the details," He moaned, not saying another word for the rest of the trip.

**_.x- End Extra –x._ **

--

"What are you looking at?" Axel asked, glaring at Zexion, who was indeed staring up at him. "God, stop it you stupid thing," Axel whined, pushing Zexion to the ground with his foot. Zexion, disgruntled by these actions, merely stood back up again. He glared at Axel before walking clumsily to the living room couch and saying, "Shud up, Azzel," In a harsh tone.

"What the hell? You can't tell me that!" Axel snapped, walking over to the couch at a fast pace and grabbing the boy by the hair. This in turn caused Zexion to shout out in pain and attempt to get Axel to let go of him. Axel smirked and pushed the small boy to the ground again with the hand that was ensnared in the mess of purple hair.

"Axel, why are you beating up a small child?" Questioned a familiar voice, one that Axel always dreaded. Axel looked up, thinking, 'oh God, please don't let it be… Damniiiiittt'

His Uncle Rufus, who was ridiculously strict, was standing in the doorway, looking at Axel with an eyebrow raised and a martini glass in one hand.

"He's being a jackass! He told me to shut up!" He told him, after a moment of staring in disgust. "That still doesn't give you any right to break his leg though," Rufus scoffed, looking at the Zexion who did not break his leg. Zexion, though, decided to play along with this by saying, "Ow!" and glaring up at Axel again. "Oh shut up," Axel sneered. "Axel. Don't let me catch you laying a finger on the boy again like that, or I'll have Tseng after you, following you until he _attacks_, which could be at _any_ time," Rufus told him, before walking off to hunt down Reno, no doubt.

Axel just scowled at him behind his back, before turning back to Zexion.

"Get off my couch, you stupid dog," He hissed at him. But of course, Rufus just happened to walk out with Reno and Rude (who were in their Turk uniform) in tow. The three, having heard this, all raised their eyebrows in curiosity. "It was the TV," Axel quickly said, glancing at said object and weakly pointed to it with his thumb.

"Is that so?" Rufus asked, looking at his finger nails with a bored expression.

"Uh… Yea. In fact, we were just uh, going to go bake cookies, weren't we?" Axel said before asking Zexion.

Zexion just slowly shook his head in confusion. "Yes, we are!" Axel growled through gritted teeth. He picked up Zexion, and carried him off to the kitchen under his arm, much like a piggy or a log. "Yea, cookies. They better be done by the time we get back, Axe!" Reno said, as the three walked out the door. "Damnit… Fine. Cookies it is," Axel grumbled, reaching into several cupboards to find the items necessary for baking. Zexion just sat on the counter, watching as Axel hastily got the ingredients. At one point, Axel handed Zexion a bowl full of ingredients and told him to stir. So he grabbed a wooden spoon from its place and began to mix the ingredients ( with a bit of trouble).

Axel looked over at him distastefully. "You're doing it wrong, moron!" He hissed, grabbing the bowl from him. He began quickly stirring it in Zexion's face, while said toddler merely glared at him. "Well sorry!" He grumbled under his breath.

"Here, put them on the sheet, and try to not screw this up this time!" Axel told him, handing him the bowl again. Zexion glared again, before reaching his hand in and grabbing handfuls of the cookie dough, and placing them on the sheet.

When Axel, who had his back turned and was washing the dishes they didn't need anymore, turned back around, he glared at Zexion again. "They're supposed to be _balls_, you little moron. I thought you were supposed to be smart," He snarled, smacking Zexion's hand away from the pan and shaping them himself.

Zexion glared at him, _again,_ before whacking Axel in the head with the bowl. "Shud up!" He yelled, jumping off the counter and storming back into the living room. Axel just glowered after him (an: What's with all the glaring? I can't think of another word…), and put the tray of cookies in the oven.

He walked into the living room, only to find Zexion, who was already sitting back on his couch and watching the television, with Cait Sith purring on his lap. Axel looked to see what the boy was watching, it happening to be Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Axel _loved_ this movie, dangit! Now he had to sit down and watch it because it'd be like, a sin, if he didn't.

He looked to Zexion and narrowed his eyes. "You win this round," He growled, before plopping down on the couch and crossing his arms, his eyes not leaving the screen.

--

After the movie ended, it was settled that they had to watch the other two also. So they did. And by the time that finished, which was like, two hours later, Zexion was out cold. Axel looked over to see what was on his shoulder, only to find it to be Zexion's small head. His face scrunched up as if a disgusting fume just entered the premises. He got up from the couch, making Zexion fall and bounce slightly onto it, and walked away into the kitchen to get some food for himself.

But then he remembered the cookies. His eyes widened, and he ran into the kitchen just in time to see his oven catch on fire. "Ah, fuck!" He yelled, running to the oven and opening it, causing a ridiculous amount of black smoke come out and make the fire alarm go insane. Axel only continued to panic, and grabbed a dirty glass of orange juice before tossing the contents into the fire. That… didn't really work.

Raking his hands through his hair, he quickly thought of another solution. He grabbed his cell phone from his back pocket and called Reno.

"_What do you want?"_

"Hey, uh, where do we keep the fire hydrant?"

"…_Why?"_

"No reason. Just wondering."

"_It's in the closet, go put the fire out,_" Reno instructed, knowing very well that there was obviously some kind of fire in his house. After he hung up, Axel sprinted to the closet and grabbed the hydrant, and ran back to the kitchen. Zexion, who had awoken, was standing in the doorway, confused. "Move!" Axel growled at him, pushing him out of the way with his foot. He reached the now not so tiny fire and hastily sprayed it out with the hydrant.

Axel sighed and set it somewhat gently on the counter, before turning to Zexion. "I'm blaming this on you, squirt," He said, before walking past him back into the living room (an: they seem to live in that room ._.). As he did so, he ruffled Zexion's hair.

Zexion followed him, not wanting to hang out with the beyond-charred cookies.

And so they sat on the couch. Axel turned to him and stared for a moment, before saying something. "Pirates, then?" He asked. Zexion thought about it for another moment, before nodding. Axel nodded again and stood up, putting Dead Man's Chest in the DVD player.

Finally, six hours later (They watched At World's End too), Zexion was once again unconscious. It was then that Reno and Rude walked in, Reno gabbing on about different kinds of socks. "Hey, where's the kid?" He asked, once he stopped talking about his socks.

"Right here," Axel curtly said, before standing up. Reno rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch, picking Zexion up and carrying him to Axel's bed.

He dropped him on the bed, haphazardly tucking him in. He walked into the kitchen to where everyone else was now, and to make some food. "How long is he staying?" He asked in a bored tone. Axel sighed, finishing off his sandwich. "Until tomorrow afternoon," He said, standing up and not bother do put his dishes away, leaving Rude to do it for him. "Hey, put away your own damn dishes," Reno snapped, whacking Axel upside the head. Axel growled at him before actually cleaning up his plate and throwing away his napkin, and stomping off to his room to play his video games.

He started playing Gauntlet, unknowing that Zexion was sleeping in his bed. He turned the volume up a fair amount, before resuming to kill weird monster like creatures of doom. About fifteen minutes later, Zexion woke up and crawled out of Axel's icky, dirty and smelly bed, and sat next to him, watching Axel play his game. He kept asking questions, like, 'wud is that?' and 'what is you lookings for?'. Axel, not really _there_, absentmindedly answered his questions. It was soon after that Zexion asked where the bathroom was. Axel popped back into the real world. "What? Oh, it's _you_," He said, looking once again disgusted. "What do you want?" He asked. "Where's your bafroom?" Zexion repeated, looking less than thrilled.

Axel groaned, before pausing his game and standing up, starting to walk out of his room. He stopped mid-step, looking back to stare at Zexion. "Well?" He said, crossing his arms. Zexion quickly stood up and walked after him. Once he caught up, Axel grabbed his arm and practically dragged the boy to the hygiene room. "Here," He said, grumpily. He then left the boy to head back to his room, making Zexion have to find his own way back.

--

Both Axel and Zexion were _thrilled_ when the Strifes came to pick Zexion up. Both were sitting on the couch, watching the Girls Next Door. Zexion, being a good little innocent boy, was reading Coraline instead of watching the show. Both immediately jumped up when the doorbell rang, and ran to the door. But it wasn't them. It was some solicitor, instead. So while Axel took care of him, Zexion moped back to the couch. After about five to ten minutes, Axel came back, not looking to happy. He turned to Zexion, and said, "the damn guy blackmailed me into buying a six month subscription to _Seventeen_," In a venomous tone.

Zexion said "oh," as an answer, merely going back to reading. Axel 'hm'ed in response, going back to watching his show. And of course, just as he was getting settled, the doorbell rang again. Axel jumped and practically glided over to the door. When he opened it, he almost squealed with joy when he saw Leon standing there. But instead, he turned his head to Zexion, and said, "Hey, midget, get your ass out of my house!".

When he turned back towards the door, he was suddenly face to face with a very evil looking Vincent.

"Oh damn. Hi there, Mr. Valentine. What's shakin'?" He asked, trying to get on his good side by calling him 'Mr.'.

Vincent just stared down at him, not looking any happier. Axel, practically writhing under the glare, took no notice of Zexion who pushed past him in order to reach his parent. Everyone kind of figured that Leon planned for Vincent to come along, because everyone knew Leon didn't like Axel.

"Don't touch his vibrating chest," Reno said as he walked passed, clad in only boxers and socks, his hair undone and goggles missing. Axel decided that he just didn't want to know what Reno was trying to say, because everyone knew he was a bit more eccentric than usual after sex.

Vincent picked Zexion up, and Leon smirked at Axel. "We're going to the Chocobo Fair today," He said, crossing his arms. Hearing this, Zexion nearly had a heart attack. "OH MAI PASTA, CHOBO FARE?!" He screamed, looking around frantically. Leon grinned. "Yup. Demyx, Cloud and I are going too, as are your family," He explained. Zexion nearly died of excitement, and Vincent had to hold on to him tight, to keep him from diving from his arms and to the ground.

Axel just grimaced and slammed the door in their faces. Leon was beaming by now, and looked like he wanted to skip back to his truck. Vincent couldn't hide his smirk, and put Zexion on his shoulders before walking back to Leon's truck. He buckled Zexion up in the back before doing the same for himself except up front.

"Are we goin' NOW?!" A psychotically bouncy Zexion asked. Vincent chuckled, and nodded. "Yes, we are going there now," He said, as Leon drove off.

--

Once they arrived, Zexion started panicking about not being able to get out in time to see the chocobos.

"It's ok, don't worry. The whole park is about chocobos, an it isn't going anywhere for another week or so," Vincent told him, chuckling in the tiniest of bits.

Once he got himself unbuckled, he pulled the lever near the bottom of the seat, causing it to fly forwards. He somehow managed to climb into the back, for the most part, and unbuckled the bouncing Zexion. He picked him up and carried him to the fair grounds as he followed Leon.

It was a rather small fair ground, so Vincent thought it safe to put his anxious Zexion down on his feet and see him shoot off like a bullet. So he did. He carefully put the boy on his feet, and Zexion immediately charged off in another direction. Vincent was pretty sure that he would run into one of the others, because they were already at the park.

And once again, he was right (Is Vincent _ever_ wrong?). Zexion had run towards the 'Chocobo Maze Mansion', and had literally charged into Demyx.

--

"Gah!! Oh, hey there Zex! 'M glad you finally made it!" Demyx said with glee, waving at the small child before picking him up. "Bet you're pretty excited about this whole thing, aren't you?" Demyx asked him, and Zexion grinned and nodded, making a silly weird noise. Like 'Hurrrr!', I guess. Demyx just laughed with him, before lifting his hand up and attacking Zexion with it, tickling him as much as possible.

Poor Zexion was flipping out from the attack and was even crying from laughing so hard! He tried to grab Demyx's hand so he would stop, yelling, "S'op, s'op!" the whole time. Finally, Demyx obliged, now laughing just as hard.

"Why is he crying?" Came Yuffie's voice.

Demyx jumped, and noticed that Yuffie's head was on his shoulder, looking at him… creepily. "No, I uh, he—" He tiggled me!" Zexion interrupted Demyx's stuttering, and looked to his mom. He then pressed to finger's into Demyx's stomach and continually twisted them around, saying, "Tiggle tiggle tiggle!" over and over again.

Demyx laughed and pulled Zexion's hands away as he walked away from Yuffie and into the big ol' mansion. "You sure you want the kid to go in there with ye'? Them Chocobo's are damn scary looking," Said a blonde man, who had been earlier introduced as Cid, another old friend of his and Zexion's parents.

"Yea, he'll be fine. He will probably just name them all or something," Demyx said, smiling and walking through the big doors.

--

It was yellow. Very, very yellow. The walls, the floor, the furnishings. Everything was yellow. And of course, everything was chocobo themed. So the chairs looked like chocobos, the tables had chocobos all over them, and there was a psychotically elaborate chocobo mural on the ceiling. Both males' reactions were, "Whoa…"

They wandered in and out of every room, passing a few people every now and then. They had just stumbled into the nice chocobo flavored bathroom when Demyx was shooed from it, very confused. "Ge' out, I has ta pee!" Zexion told him, pushing on the backs of his legs. "But I don't think these toilets are meant to be used--" Demyx said, confused. He sighed and began thinking, about stuff.

He remembered in passing that Yuffie had told him how Zexion used to be so polite, always saying stuff like,

"I has to go the bafroom, please," or,

"May I go read instead? 'M done wiff mah food,".

What an influence _he_ was to the small boy.

As he came out of his thoughts, he realized that he was no longer in the mansion. Oh crap, it happened _again!_

Sometimes, when he was thinking to himself, Demyx would wander around aimlessly, even if he was hanging out with friends and he just spaced out. Now he had gone and left his parents' friends' son in a huge-ass mansion. Crrraaaaaaaaaaaap.

He immediately turned and tried to get back in, but Cid stopped him. "'Ey, you need another fuckin' ticket to get in. What the hell were you thinkin', I'd just let you in 'cuz yer related to Spikey? Fuck off! Come back when you have another damn ticket," He grumbled, shooing Demyx away.

Demyx tried to persuade him. "But I left Zexion in there—"I don't _care_. Go get another damn ticket!" Cid interrupted, flicking his cigarette at him. Demyx growled and ran off to Cloud.

--

"Dad, I need a ticket! Please, hurry!!" He yelled, as he skidded to a stop in front of him. "I'm out, go ask Leon," Cloud said, shrugging. "I'm right here," Leon said, raising an eyebrow. "And I'm not giving you any of mine. Go buy your own," He said.

Demyx nearly died, before sighing loudly and running off to the others.

--

By the time he actually got another ticket, it had been an _hour_. One flip flappin' _hour_ of leaving Zexion alone in that damn mansion! Demyx ran up to the estate, panting with his hands on his knees.

"So yer back, eh?" Cid asked loudly, grabbing his ticket and practically kicking him into the manor. "Yea, yea, whatever!" Demyx snapped back at him, immediately running up the main stair case. He was running down a hallway in the direction he thought the bathroom was in when he passed a door with a sign on it.

He stopped, and read it:

'DO NOT DISTURB'

It said, in horrifically sloppy handwriting, it obviously having to belong to that of a toddler. So Demyx walked into the room and looked around. When he found what he was looking for, he nearly died from laughter.

"Oh my god, Zexion! What are you _wearing?!_" He asked, snorting. The small Zexion was wearing nothing but a pair of white boxers decorated with chocobos and a big fuzzy pale yellow blanket. Zexion just stared at him, holding a makeshift scepter in his hand.

"BOW DOWNUH!" He yelled running over and bopping Demyx in the knees with his staff. Demyx yelped from the pain, but followed the other's orders anyway.

"Ok, ok your lord. But you must know that we have to go, the park is closing soon!" He said, only to be bopped in the head.

"NO!" Zexion shouted, stomping a foot.

"How about 'yes'," Said a different voice, one which was calm and deep, and unmistakably belonging to Vincent.

Both Zexion and Demyx looked up at him. Demyx grinned and hopped back up to his feet, much to Zexion's dismay. Vincent walked over and picked Zexion up from under his arms, and held him to his chest. "The peasant is right, your Highness. The park is closing, and it is way past your bed time," Vincent said, walking out of the room and mansion with Demyx in tow.

Zexion was _not_ happy. "No, No!" He snapped. "Off wiff yer head, OFF WIFF YER HEAD!" He continued, repeatedly bopping his father on the head with his staff. Vincent, amazingly, was able to ignore the pain. Everyone looked at him in confusion, but thought it best to say nothing as they all loaded themselves into their cars (With Mr. Cid glaring at Demyx as he locked up the gates).

Once they were driving home, with Demyx hitching a ride with the Valentine's, Zexion asked him an extremely vital question.

"Mah birfday's soon. Yer comin', _right?_" He asked in a rather threatening voice. Demyx just stared at him, before smiling and nodding.

"Of course!" He said, grinning and patting Zexion's head.

--

IT IS DONE. Two more chapters after this, who knows when I'll get around to doing them though…


End file.
